


Call or Delete Phil from the Earth

by koleen



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 05:07:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5235305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koleen/pseuds/koleen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan was playing Call or Delete on the BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Show... when awkward shit happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call or Delete Phil from the Earth

“I’m gonna be back in no time. Don’t miss me too much,” Phil said to Dan, giggling at the other man who immediately wrapped his arms around Phil’s waist, snuggling into his neck.

 

“You’re gonna be gone for 2 weeks. What if someone breaks into our flat and kills me? What if Donald Trump suddenly breaks into our house holding a chainsaw?” Dan whined, pouting. Phil laughed, kissing the top of Dan’s hair.

 

“That’s not going to happen, Dan,” Phil said, giggling. “I’ll call you every day, alright? I really have to go now, don’t wanna miss our flight.”

 

“One day I’m going to delete Florida.”

 

“Sure you will,” Phil smiled, kissing a pouting Dan full on the lips. With a kiss on Dan’s forehead and one last wave, Phil is out the door, and Dan was alone in their flat again.

 

It was going to be a _long_ two weeks without Phil and he was perfectly aware of that.

*

 

The first week without Phil went by slower than Dan expected. For some reason, he missed Phil more than he usually does whenever Phil leaves for a family holiday. For him, it felt like it was 2009 all over again, the year where Dan and Phil are hundreds of miles apart from each other, the year where they ached for each other so much because they could hardly meet in person due to the distance.

 

“Are you okay, Dan? You sound a bit off,” Phil asked over the phone, worried by Dan’s evident lack of enthusiasm.

 

“Um. Yeah, of course!” Dan lied, forcing himself to sound cheerful as fuck. “Sorry, I was just spacing out like usual. Don’t worry,” Dan explained, ending his statement with a hopefully convincing laugh.

 

“Alright. Just making sure. By the way,” Phil paused for a second. “I miss you so much, Dan,” he continued, voice quieter. Dan giggled, his stomach suddenly filling up with butterflies. It really _is_ 2009.

 

“I know, Phil. You’ve told me that about 9 times already in this phone call.”

 

“Eh, I don’t care. That doesn’t make it any less true.”

 

“Okay, true,” Dan smiled to himself before speaking again. Phil always sounded so sincere whenever he told Dan how he felt, and that never failed to make Dan feel safe. Phil’s words have always felt so assuring to him, felt like they were his own personal security blanket. “I miss you, too,” Dan finally responded.

 

“I love you so much.”

 

“I love you, too, Phil.”

 

“No, Dan, you don’t understand. I love you so, so much.”

 

Dan smiled. “I understand, Phil, believe me. The feeling’s mutual.”

 

“I wanna kiss you so bad, it hurts. I wanna kiss the top of your hair, your forehead. I wanna kiss your nose, then your lips, and maybe I’ll linger there for longer than—“

 

 _“Phil,”_ Dan warned, his eyes shifting left and right even though he’s completely alone in his bedroom. _Old habits die hard,_ he thought.

 

“Don’t worry, Dan,” Phil assured him, laughing. “Nobody will hear me talking about how much I want to fuck you right now,” he continued, voice deeper, the sudden change of atmosphere making Dan shift in his bed.

 

“Oh, are we really going to do this now?” Dan teased, licking his lower lip in the process.

 

“Hmm, I guess, yeah?” Phil paused for a few seconds, his soft and slow heavy breathing the only sound that could be heard from the other end of the line. “Why? Do you not want to hear me talk about pinning your hands over your head while giving your neck slow kisses? Do you not want that, Dan?”

 

Dan felt his stomach clench, and before he realized it, his hand was already gripping his half-hard cock under his boxers. “I want it.”

 

“How much do you want it?”

 

“I want it so bad, Phil. I want you here, right now.”

 

“As soon as I get home, I’m going to push you down our bed and make you feel good.”

 

“Fuck, Phil,” Dan moaned, gripping his crotch tighter, closing his eyes. “I want you so bad.”

 

They had phone sex about three times that week, and Skype sex once. The days dragged on, much to Dan’s dismay. He wanted Phil home. He wanted Phil on his bed as soon as possible.

 

It really is 2009 all over again.

 

*

 

New Message from Grimmy:

_dan u free tomorrow morning? surprise guest cant make it to breakfast show. need a quick replacement asap. bbc will pay u extra_

 

Dan squinted at the light from his phone. _2:30 in the morning._ If he said yes, he’d have to be at the BBC by 5 AM. Fuck.

 

 _um cant i have to go to my parents’ house today,_ he started to type but didn’t send. He closed his eyes for about 5 minutes before deciding on what to reply.

 

“Fuck it, I’m alone here anyways, might as well go out,” he murmured to himself. Dan quickly typed up a _yes ill be there by 5_ then went back to sleep.

 

 _It’ll be a thing to do, I guess. Plus it’s extra cash that could go to house funds,_ he thought to himself when he tried going back to sleep. He smiled at the idea of finally getting his own house with Phil.

 

Also maybe a dog.

 

Or two.

 

Or ten.

 

*

 

“After a quick break, we’re gonna play Call or Delete with King of the Internet, Dan Howell aka Danisnotonfire! Stay with us, we’ll be right back,” Nick Grimshaw talked into his mic, removing his headphones and fixing his hair immediately after.

 

“You doing alright, Dan? Sorry again for making you come up here this early. Bloody Olly Alexander cancelled on us last minute,” Grimmy apologized, looking slightly annoyed.

 

“Nah, it’s fine. Can’t really blame Olly, though. He had a plausible reason in my opinion,” Dan responded, chuckling. “I mean, Years & Years suddenly bagged a big gig in Paris for today, if I were him I’d go off schedule for that, too.”

 

“Okay, true,” Grimmy replied, finally smiling. “Oh, we’re on in 5.” They both put on their headphones quickly, and soon enough, they’re back on air again.

 

“We’re back with the BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Show, this is Nick Grimshaw and this morning, we’re joined by King of the Internet, Dan Howell! We’re going to play Call or Delete with him in just a few, but first, let’s ask him about his future projects. So Dan, do you have anything special coming up? Anything else aside from the book and the tour we’ve talked about earlier?”

 

Dan’s mind immediately flashed him his and Phil’s plan to move to their own house, and a ring in a small box safely tucked safely underneath a pile of clothes in his closet. He smiled to himself, but thought, the world isn’t ready for those just yet. “Yeah. But I really can’t tell you yet. So you guys just have to watch out for those.” Dan winked then nodded at Grimmy. He nodded back and immediately looked left, signaling the tech people that it’s time for Call or Delete. They gave him a thumbs up as a go signal.

 

“Alright! It’s finally time for Call or Delete,” Grimmy chuckled, smiling slyly at Dan. “Dan, you know how this goes, so I’m just going to ask you, are you ready?”

 

“I’m really not,” Dan joked, and everyone in the studio laughed.

 

“Well, you’re going to have to be,” Grimmy teased, and Dan laughed again.

 

“Smh, you guys. I hardly have any friends and now you’re making me risk losing one again. Btw, I still haven’t forgiven all of you for the Pete Wentz incident.” Everyone laughed again, some people even saying sorry to Dan jokingly.

 

“We’re still really sorry for that, Dan,” Grimmy said, smiling. “Alright! Now it’s really time for you to play. Is your phone all set up?”

 

“Yeah, all good! I’m already looking at my contacts, and I’m telling you, everyone in my contacts list has the capability of ending me for pranking them,” Dan replied, voice full of humor for the radio.

 

“Okay, let’s begin then! Dan, start scrolling your phone without looking and when I say stop, you have to tell us who you got and then we’ll ask you, _“Call or Delete?”_ Ready?”

 

“Ready,” Dan answered. Grimmy nodded at him as a signal to start scrolling, and Dan started to scroll down.

 

“Stop! So… Who did you get?”

 

Dan groaned as soon as he looked down at his screen. It landed on Phil. “It’s Phil, Grimmy,” Dan responded, rolling his eyes. Everyone in the studio laughed.

 

“Do I even have to ask you what you’re going to do?” Grimmy teased.

 

Dan glared at him. “No. He’s going to kill me.” Grimmy lost it at Dan’s expression, taking a moment to calm himself down.

 

“We’re really sorry, Dan. Okay, what’s your game plan with this call?”

 

“I’m going for go big or go home, so I’m going to go big and pretend I’m going to move out of our flat,” Dan said proudly. There was loads of _oooooh_ ’s heard around the studio.

 

“Yikes! Alright, let’s do this. Dan Howell is going to call Phil Lester in 3, 2…”

 

Dan pressed call. _Ring, ring._ Phil picked up on the fourth ring.

 

“Hello, Phil?” Dan talked. Phil groaned at the other end of the line.

 

 _“Dan,”_ he responded, almost breathlessly.

 

“Yes, it’s me,” Dan replied, slightly alarmed at Phil’s tone. “Anyway, I have to talk to you.”

 

“Me, too. It’s been bugging me since last night, Dan.” Dan and Grimmy’s eyes simultaneously widened at Phil’s statement, but Dan continued even though he was starting to get nervous to where this was going. _Shit, what if Phil wanted to break up with me?_

“Okay, so Phil, I think I’m—“

 

“Dan,” Phil moane—wait, _did he just fucking moan?_

“No, Phil, let me speak first,” Dan interrupted nervously, his hands already starting to get clammy. Phil moaned again.

 

“No, Dan, I want to talk to you. I want to fu—“

 

“PHIL! Wait, I really need to talk to you first!” Dan exclaimed, full on panicking. _Phil is fucking getting himself off. He’s trying to get phone sex._ Dan’s life flashed before his eyes. Grimmy and all the people in the studio watched, surprised at the exchange, jaws dropped.

 

“But, Dan. I can’t wait for you to f—“

 

Dan’s mind went almost blank, and he did the only thing he could think of to stop the exchange, and incidentally, the only way he thought of is also the stupidest way.

 

He started to make static noises.

 

“BZZZZ—PHIL THE LINE IS BREA—BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ,” Dan started, about to cry and die of embarrassment. Grimmy had to bite his hand to stop himself from laughing out loud. “BZZZZ—I’LL TALK TO—BZZZZZZZZ—LATER.” He ended the call. Nobody talked for a few seconds, then Grimmy mouthed at the tech to go off air and play something for the meantime. He turned back to Dan.

 

“What just happened?” Grimmy asked, finally letting himself lose it, crying out of laughter.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Dan said flatly.

 

“Was he…? You know?” Grimmy started to do subtle wanking gestures.

 

Dan closed his eyes, shaking his head furiously. “Oh my God, Grimmy.” Grimmy started laughing again.

 

“So, wait, does this mean you two are togeth—“

 

“Yup! Let’s not talk about it now,” Dan answered dismissively. Grimmy bit his lip, trying to stop himself from laughing, but unable to hold back some snorts.

 

“Do you want to call him back now?” Grimmy teased.

 

“No, thanks. I’m good.”

 

Dan decided he’s gonna talk to Phil about it when he gets home.

 

It really is 2009. It’s that year again where Phil is horny as fuck 24/7. Like seriously, he had a wank before breakfast? Seriously, Phil.

 

Although, Dan has to admit the incident turned him on a little.

 

Maybe after the radio show he could sneak in somewhere and... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


End file.
